Many months ago, I found a company whose products I loved.
They were bright, happy colours and had some messages that I liked.
I approached them about stocking them as part of my gift boxes…..and heard nothing.
Fast forward to a few months later – and I had made contact with them on numerous occasions and was always met by silence.
I was too small a company.
I had no bricks and mortar store.
They had no interest.
I researched the company behind these products and discovered that the company was started by a Mum, at her kitchen table. She still ran the multi-million pound company. So I reached out direct.
And that’s where the story ended.
All those old negative beliefs that had been my default for so long crept in…it was not pretty!
This time coincided with the start of my journey into becoming a counsellor. A journey which completely kicked my ass. I was not expecting the first 8 weeks of the course to go into such depth – nor did I expect that it would have such a huge impact on me.
I vowed to focus on the course, knuckle down and get it done.
And get it done, I did.
The lessons from that first 8 weeks, oy vey, they were HUGE.
I felt like I had opened pandoras box an had no idea of what to do with the deluge of information.
My passions for Faith, Hope and Sunshine were ignited, but so was my ‘inner critic’ and I bounced from one idea to the next, flitting from excitement to crippling fear.
I was at a standstill.
Our paths had crossed a few times over the previous year. I knew she was a ‘Mindset Coach‘ but I had little idea what that really meant. But at a time when I couldn’t see a way forward, she threw me a lifeline (and by lifeline, I mean a coffee date!)
We talked, she got it.
She really got it.
Where I saw confusion, mess and multiple doors – she saw a way forward, a way to cut through the noise and movement in the right direction. What was so clouded for me, for her was simple.
And that was just what I needed.
I signed up for her group coaching program there and then.
I arrived to the first group class in a mess. Still confused by the directions I should take and reeling with hurt from a family situation that was wounding me deeply – I thought I should have it all together. I thought I was going to waste this opportunity by showing up broken. I thought I was going to be the ‘problem child’ of the group.
Whilst the other participants were able to talk of their business, their vision, their passion – all I had was a bunch of ideas, a whole lot of hurt and a really huge feeling that I shouldn’t be there.
Week one kicked my ass and challenged me.
It made me speak of why I started Faith, Hope and Sunshine.
It made me speak of wanting to curate gift boxes for women that has heartfelt messages and deep meaning.
It made me speak of my rejection for wanting to stock products that I couldn’t.
It gave me back my WHY….WHY I am doing this……WHY I believe in it…
It made me realise that if a company didn’t want to sell me their products,
I would MAKE MY OWN!
And the following morning, I sat and I painted.
I painted backgrounds for messages that women need to hear.
Messages that I want to sink deep into their soul –
Messages that build them up and give them a little insight into how magnificent they are
Messages that is an honour for me to pass on…
And it is with a sense of direction (Thanks Abbie!) that I have had these messages printed on fabric and sewed up into makeup bags, which have been included in my new gift boxes.
To underline to the recipient that they are perfect, just as they are.
That showing up broken, is better than not showing up at all – and if you do it, you will discover that every one of us is broken – even the ones who seem to have it all together.
That kindness is a super power and not a weakness.
And that ultimately, that they are loved and cherished, exactly where they are.